Wedding Thrift

So previously I posted that I was a little apprehensive about having found and bought my wedding ring at Goodwill. Thankfully I recieved a wonderful supportive "Yea!" from a fellow blogger (thanks Aunt Jenny!) encouraging me to be thrifty and reminding me of the all important fact - the ring represents my love for Bub whether it's a pipe cleaner or precious jewel. AND I'm recycling - something I don't do enough of.

Anyhow, before I even got engaged I decided that I was going to do my wedding inexpensively. I've been to a $40,000 wedding where it really wasn't that great and the couple is now divorced 5 years later. I see too much waste from these weddings that turn out to be somewhat tacky in the end and create extensive debt. The fun weddings are ones that cost less than $10K to put together. So any place that I could save money for myself and others - I was all for it.

Except the dress... I know I couldn't afford to spend more than $500 on the dress (especially one I am only wearing once), but I remembered my mom talking about having to borrow another persons wedding dress because she couldn't afford to buy her own. She didn't even really like the dress... How sad is that? I thought she looked beautiful, but I could be biased.

So I decided that it was important for me to find a classic dress that if my children or nieces wanted to wear 20 years from now, it would be in style. I'm more of the romantic, classic type anyhow. Give me Sinatra over the Backstreet Boys any day! And I'm very practical (I've been told too practical sometimes...). I've been to enough dress fittings to understand that most dresses are sold purely off of emotions and it's a 50/50 chance that you'll hate your dress after the emotions have gone.

So I tackled the "finding the dress" task in a very business-like manner. I scoped out the shops before I went with my friends/family, found a couple of dress, and have my little notebook full of details: addresses, style numbers, thoughts on the shop, etc... Then I went with my bridesmaids, aunts and friends. We whipped through more than 40 dresses in 2 hours. That's right - I don't mess around. I even carried my strapless bra with me in my purse for a month in the chance I would want to try on a dress. You never know...

Don't get me wrong - we all had a LOT of fun. Infact the shop helper came up to us later and said that we all were a lot of fun and she had a blast helping us. But I don't mess around with emotions on something like this - I want a dress that is functional, classy, appropriate, and will look great on me at the weight I am or at the weight I hope to be.

I found it! :)


Except in Ivory....

So, what do you think?!?! It's a bridesmaid dress from Venus Bridal that I am getting from a shop here in Vancouver. I have to say that I would have never picked it out for myself, but my aunt suggested I try it on. I love it so much! I think it looks even better on me than on the girl in the picture. It's perfect for Vegas (because I will wear it all day even though our ceremony will be only about 15 minutes long) and I can wear a little blusher veil with my hair in a loose knot a the nape of my neck. Perfect!

The best part.....

It's only $144.95!

I have enough extra to put towards a great pair of shoes! Woo hoo!

Tap Shoes & Princess Crowns

Oh, I love confident little girls!

Bub asked his niece and nephew to be our flower-girl and ring-bearer. Hailey, being the big sister and 4 years old, was very excited. So after Bub was done talking to her, he called me up and said that Hailey wanted to talk to me right away.

This is how our conversation went:

"Hi Hailey"
"Hi Tess"
"So, Uncle Bubby tells me you are going to be our flowergirl! That's so exciting!"
"Yup! And I'm going to your wedding and I'm going to bring your flowers at your wedding and I'm going to choose your flowers for you!"
"Oh, well how bout this. How about I pick out the flowers but you can carry them and then after you can keep them! Will that work?"
"Yes."
"Did Uncle Bubby tell you that you get to wear a pretty princess dress?"
"Yes! And I get to wear a pretty princess dress, and tap shoes, and a princess crown!"
"Tap shoes, huh?"
"Yup."

I then got to talk to her mom, Rachel, which went like this:

"Hi Rachel. Tap shoes huh?"
"Yea, I heard that. I don't know where she got that one from. But don't worry, next week I'm sure it will be pom-poms or a wand."
"Funny! And I hear you're a little reserved about letting Grayson be ring-bearer..."
"Yea, I'm ok with him doing it, I just don't know how well it will go. You see he's started dropping his pants anywhere these days, or I'll find him with his hand down his diaper. The other day he walked into the kitchen, sans clothing, with his hand down his diaper and just looked up at me and said, 'Hi' and then walked away. He's wears a onsie if we're going in public anywhere because I'm afraid he'll do that in public."

I was laughing to hard to respond. That would be perfect to have his cute little 2 year old self drop his drawers mid-aisle to the mortification of his mom. That would actually make my wedding day perfect.

I love being an aunt.Hailey in her princess crown. :)

Onions

You know those moments when you've been questioning whether a decision will really be right; question whether you're doing the right thing? And then you get to that moment, and the decision is made and final, and something happens to make you realize that it was the perfect decision. That's such a blissful feeling.

Getting ready for this wedding has been difficult emotionally. My mom's death has prevented her from being there physically. Because of decisions pertaining to the wedding, my dad has opted not to attend which means he will not be walking me down the aisle. I understand his convictions and respect the fact he feels so strongly about them. He has to do what is right for him.

It's been hard to face the fact that neither parent will be there to support me in the biggest day of my life. One by choice, one by death. I won't have the picture to show my kids or grandkids of my parents walking me down the aisle in my white dress and veil. I won't have the two people who created me from love there to share in my own love. While I'm not a publicly emotional person (at least I try to keep it in), it's been tugging at my heart for a while.

To add to it, I have to choose someone to walk me down the aisle. I'm blessed with so many wonderful people who would proudly walk me down the aisle. It's hard to choose something like that. Do I choose the ex-boss who has informally adopted me as his own daughter? Do I chose my friend's dad, who at my friend's (his only daughter) funeral asked me if he could walk me down the aisle because he now would never have that opportunity? Do I choose my mom's best friend's husband, who supported and loved me as his own daughter while my mom was dying? Do I choose my brother-in-law who is supportive and loving in everything I choose? Do I choose my grandpa or one of my brothers, who have loved and known me all their lives?

At 27 I understand that it's acceptable for me to give myself away. It's the 21st century. I'm not property of anyone nor do I owe anyone anything. I've lived on my own since I graduated high school and have supported myself through thick and thin. I'm could walk myself down the aisle. But I think there is a very special treasure present at that moment. Out of all the craziness before and after the wedding, that moment of walking down the aisle is as important as a vow exchange. That's when the bride fully realizes the importance of having the support and love there to watch her walk towards her future. To have her parents give her, support her, and love her in the decision to live with this person the rest of her life - I think it's incredibly important to have.

I decided to ask my uncle to walk me down the aisle. His support has been paramount, especially this last year. He understands my fiancee and understands me. He was there with a beer and toast when we announced our engagement. My fiancee talked to him first about marrying me. Without asking for the fanfare or the title, he has stepped up and into the place of what I would need my dad to be and has done so from his own love of me.

Because of how reserved he is, I didn't know how to approach him on it or if he would even want to do it. He never shows emotion and is such a guy's guy. In fact, we've only started really getting close this last year - so I didn't know if he would even feel a connection or if this would be an obligation to me. My aunt reassured me that he would be honored and my fiancee thought it was a great idea. Still, out of all these wonderful men in my life, would he be the right choice? And how would I approach him about it?

Tonight, over pizza and a beer, when it was just the two of us in the crowded resteraunt, I casually asked him. And he casually responded that he would be honored. Then I noticed him tearing up. He said it was the onions. The moment was absolutely blissful. I made the right choice.

Wedding Jewelry

Call me thrifty. Call me cheap. Call me brave.

My sister and I went to a Goodwill today the size of .... well lets just say it's pretty big. They had everything, including jewelery. So I wandered over and tried to see if there was anything really worth buying.

Well there was. :)


This is my new wedding purse found for $3.99! I love the ivory lace. The only problem is the stains. I have to research how to clean it.
Isn't the lace lovely??

I also found some great wedding jewelry starting with:



This is a great bracelet that I believe has fresh water pearls and Austrian crystals. But I could be totally wrong. I like it a lot though and thought it was a great buy for $29.99.



A necklace that just was pretty. I probably won't wear it for the wedding, but I'm sure I'll find some occasion to wear it. It was so pretty at $5.99!



I also found a couple of pretty right-hand rings for $5.99 and $4.99, respectively:

(Just a pretty stone)

and

(It's a handmade rose)

AND

(Drumroll please....)

I found my wedding band there!



That's right, just a simple band. And yes, I got it at Goodwill. I was a little concerned that I might receive some criticism over buying my band at a thrift shop, but I think I did a good thing. The economy is slow, neither of us has the money to spend on brand new rings, and I have a very lovely engagement ring that was purchased brand new from a store. I think my thrift and savings will help in the end. (Actually we'll probably just put that money towards having fun on our honeymoon!)

But I love the fact that for about $60 I have all of my wedding jewelery, plus some. I think I budgeted $50 for my wedding band (that's a savings of $44!) and $100 for accessories! Now I just need to purchase the dress and the shoes and I'm set!

Also, I found a place that will do great invitations for cheap! You'll have to use your creativity and craft, but I'm excited to see what they look like in the end. And with envelopes, save the date cards and pictures, my invitations (for 250) came to $150.00, which is what I thought I would spend on just invitations.

Invitations: www.overnightprints.com
Envelopes: www.actionenvelope.com
Pictures: www.snapfish.com

C.S. Lewis

"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go.

And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?
But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense–love as distinct from “being in love”–is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.

'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

I believe CS Lewis spoke of everlasting love. The love we strive to achieve when we commit to someone we love. This is the love I give when I am married in October and the love I feel every day.

Mid-Terms Conundrum, Troll Exteriors & Cheese Rolls

So, I'm in mid-terms for this quarter and I have to say I officially hate a few things:

1. I hate that I procrastinate on my homework. Every time I procrastinate and every time I get MASSIVELY stressed out and worried about how I'm going to do. Then I don't get enough sleep and work vigorously on homework that should have been finished before that date.

2. I hate economics. None of it makes sense to me. If anyone can explain to me Price Elasticity of Demand and those stupid graphs you have to read, I would be forever grateful! Stupid graphs... stupid econ.... stupid procrastination.

3. I hate true or false questions and multiple choice questions. It just confuses me. I go back and forth and back and forth and my brain literally starts to ache. Half the time, the first answer I chose is the correct one. So it aggravates me when I stew over a question, change my first answer, and then get it wrong.

4. I hate missing out on an A grade because of two points missed and things of that nature. Missing out on becoming State Officer because of 10 measly points! Not being able to wear honor cords because I received a 3.498 GPA and not a 3.5 GPA! Getting an 88% on my econ test today for a true or false question that I got wrong (see #3)! Not passing my drivers test by 1 freakin point and having to take the darn thing over again for $14 ($14 in high school is a pretty big deal)!

Right now I feel like a troll for how many things I hate and how I'm spewing it out to you all (my one follower - hi VR!). But hopefully, since I've spewed my last bit of gunk and my head is starting to feel better, my troll exterior will disappear.

I do have to say that today is Valentines Day and I'm excited for Red Lobster! Woohooo!!! Cheese Rolls.... yum!

And here are a few of the random things I love:

1. Symbols, i.e. the ampersand sign (I like the name too!): &, the number sign: #, the at sign: @, and brackets: [ ]

2. Writing on the insides of books: I feel like a criminal when I do it, even to text books that I know can't be returned for a refund. But when I see that others have made little notes (either about the book or a note of their personal life), especially in pencil, I literally have to smile. It's like they've extended their hand out to let me have a little peek at the inner person inside. Unless it says something foul or vulgar (like the genitalia that people use to draw on high school text books). That does not make me smile.

3. Hannah, Molly, Heidi, & Jack!: Yes my chickens that live next door are back and clucking up a storm! They hibernate on the other side of my neighbor's house for the winter and then live on this side from Spring to Fall! Oh they are so fun to watch and make washing dishes better.

4. The card that Jerrod got me for Valentines Day. :) To be a smart-ass he got a spanish card that he couldn't read and knowing full well the only spanish words I know are uno, dos, and tres. To make it better (and thank you Hallmark!), they write in English what the card says. It was very dirty and naughty and he had no idea. I got a good laugh out of that one.

Happy Valentines Day!